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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

I am โ€œWe read the newspaper front to back every single day,โ€ years old.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Commentary:
Ice cream for dinner? Sign me up! Who needs adulting when you can have sprinkles for supper! ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ˜‹๐ŸŽ‰



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Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

You know where Iโ€™d like to go? Missing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I donโ€™t say.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how Iโ€™m going to pass.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didnโ€™t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

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