Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like I'll be trading in my calculator for a ski mask! 💸🔫 Just kidding, I'll stick to legal ways to boost my bank balance…for now! 😂💼 #ImTooPrettyForPrison"

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, crime, desperation, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, irony, joke, life, life of crime, money, need, struggle, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

0

2 months ago

30, assistant, better, brushing, care, dental, dental care, dentist, humor, money, mouth, playing, rich, ships, sinking, sinking ships, staring, wealth
I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

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2 months ago

age, am, AOL, AOL Instant Messenger, chat, i, instant, internet, messaging, messenger, nostalgia, old, technology
I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

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2 months ago

am, birthright, communication, culture, digital, digital culture, generation, gif, humor, i, millennial, replying, stop
Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

0

3 months ago

bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work
Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

0

4 months ago

age, beginning, change, decision, everything, good, know, leave, life, life change, love, new, new beginning, over, start, starting, starting over, uncertainty
I’d stalk me too, I get it.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Spotted on Messenger:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Spotted on YouTube:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Spotted on Messenger:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Going bananas on Threads:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Freshly posted on Discord:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Just shared via Discord:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨