Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Trending via Telegram:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the commentary track on those near-miss highlights… 🤔🎬💀

5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

2 months ago

adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still
Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

2 months ago

area, date, dating, hot, hot single, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, online, online dating, single, singles, social, social interaction, talk, want
Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

6 months ago

accountability, actions, Alexa, assistant, humor, responsibility, take, technology, virtual, virtual assistant
I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

2 months ago

1984, forgetfulness, humor, irony, kitchen, memory, nostalgia, song, word
Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

2 months ago

applying, balm, behavior, confidence, funny behavior, humor, know, lip, lip balm, move, power, power move, self-care, situation, social, social situation, watching
I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

3 months ago

book, cover, evil, face, humor, i, judge, people, stupid, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Making waves on Discord:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Spotted on X:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Breaking via Telegram:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Just landed via Slack:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Seen just now on Discord:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨