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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,960

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Just shared via Twitch:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Just landed via Threads:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the commentary track on those near-miss highlights… 🤔🎬💀

5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

1 month ago

after, anatomy, animal, around, baby, birth, bottom, centaur, ever, flop, half, humor, imagination, start, thought, top, walking
People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

1 month ago

humor, people, self-talk, talk, weird
My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

1 month ago

bagel, Christian, Dior, diversity, humor, identity, Jewish, mayor, Muslim, religion
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

1 month ago

communication, efficiency, humor, k, language, ok, people, slang, texting, time, writing
I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

2 months ago

Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife
Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

1 month ago

attire, casual, casual attire, fashion, fire, fuel, humor, humor quote

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Trending via Messenger:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Trending via Pinterest:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

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It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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