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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Going viral on TikTok:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Just shared via Facebook:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Trending via Telegram:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Just landed via Messenger:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Going bananas on Threads:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

2 months ago

0

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, wouldn't that be the dream! 💸💰 Laundry day could turn into payday real quick! 🧺💸 Perhaps we need to start throwing some spare change in with the socks… or convince the bank that dirty clothes are a form of deposit! 😅💼

account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, done, holiday, humor, kids, parenting, sarcasm, shit, veteran’s, Veteran’s Day, work
I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

0

5 months ago

again, death, fear, fears, humor, i, life, me, mortality, much, pathetic, sarcasm, waking, waking up, woke
“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

0

5 months ago

always, going, humor, i, lie, morning, myself, procrastination, self-talk, sleep, tell, tonight
If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

0

2 months ago

attention, disappear, Houdini, humor, magic, mystery, relationship, self-worth
My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

0

2 months ago

appliances, blower, creativity, dryer, hair, hair dryer, household, humor, leaf, leaf blower, multitasking, powerful
I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, broke, clothes, crisis, fit, grown up, humor, i, identity, identity crisis, over-thinker, overthinker, pretty, remember, self-deprecation, stressed-out, sure, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

77 shares on Slack this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

17 shares on X this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

51 shares on Slack this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Trending via TikTok:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

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