Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,039

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Spotted on Reddit:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Just landed via Slack:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Just landed via Threads:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Making waves on X:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you need an inflatable pool float for the bathroom! 😂🚽💦

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

0

4 weeks ago

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo
You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

0

2 months ago

Caesar, historical, historical reference, humor, julius, Julius Caesar, killed, me, meeting, reference, reluctance, sarcasm, thing, want, work
So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

0

2 months ago

across, adult, adult behavior, baby, behavior, bottle, crawling, cute, floor, funny observation, humor, i, intervention, need, observation
Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

0

2 months ago

ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why
The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

0

2 months ago

existential, humor, insane, later, life, madness, purpose, sooner
You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

0

4 weeks ago

acting, acting up, before, Christmas, claus, disbelief, holiday, mischief, right, Santa, Santa Claus, town

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

64 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

99 shares on Discord this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

94 shares on X this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Just landed via Telegram:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Live now on Discord:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Shared recently on Twitch:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨