Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Live now on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Just landed via Reddit:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Going bananas on Discord:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Spotted on X:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Freshly posted on X:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sending thoughts and caffeine ☕💼😂

announce, announcement, deep, feeling, frustration, heart, heavy, heavy heart, humor, i, irony, job, sadness, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

0

2 months ago

activity, bad, bed, break, breaking, Breaking Bad, couple, date, fun, fun activity, humor, idea, watch
Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

0

2 months ago

activity, befriending, bird, communication, crow, funny activity, handwritten, handwritten note, humor, love, love note, note, notes, teaching
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

0

2 months ago

age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

0

3 weeks ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow
In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

0

1 week ago

20s, 30s, actually, childhood, growth, hobby, important, interest, interests, kid, niche, niche interest, personal, personal growth, rediscovery, self, self-discovery, something, start, thirty, twenty, younger, younger self
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Threads this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

77 shares on Slack this month:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

38 shares on X this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

100 shares on Discord this month:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

17 shares on Discord this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Making waves on Reddit:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Just landed via Facebook:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨