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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

You’re in her DMs. Iโ€™m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I donโ€™t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Pinterest:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Going viral on Telegram:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Going viral on Discord:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Just shared via Threads:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I were in charge of Nike, Iโ€™d change the slogan to โ€œJust Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.โ€

Going viral on Slack:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their headโ€” it expired.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

โ€œStop bouncing your leg!โ€ Itโ€™s either this or I start screaming.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

77 shares on X this month:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they canโ€™t see.

55 shares on Threads this month:

I donโ€™t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

20 shares on X this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

22 shares on Discord this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you ghosted me, donโ€™t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Gravity called. Itโ€™s sick of holding me up.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If I was ever told to โ€œdress to impressโ€, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you donโ€™t have to work the next day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. Iโ€™m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on X:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Freshly posted on X:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Just shared via Facebook:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Spotted on X:

I think itโ€™s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Trending via Slack:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Just landed via TikTok:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, theyโ€™d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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