I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.