Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Twitch:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Making waves on YouTube:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Freshly posted on X:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Live now on Discord:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Shared recently on Telegram:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to decide if I should apply for the job or just invest in a burrito and call it a career 🍽️💼😂

bean, bean and cheese, burrito, burrito menu, cheese, comparison, degree, food, food price, humor, irony, job, job posting, master’s degree, Masters, menu, posting, price, price comparison, salary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

0

3 months ago

again, communication, dog, God, hear, humor, i, quick, quick reply, relationship, reply, wait, waiting
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, i, mouth, much, self-deprecation, volume, wish
If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

0

2 months ago

Android, arguing, check, communication, ever, humor, just, parenting, sarcasm, say, something, sure, technology, teen
This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

0

4 months ago

bottle, call, communication, connection, found, frustration, humor, i, message, metaphor, missed, missed connection, never

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Spotted on YouTube:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Spotted on WeChat:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Just shared via WeChat:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨