Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Going viral on Instagram:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Trending via Threads:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Live now on Threads:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🤣 My cat is clearly auditioning to be my couch's new cover designer! 🐱🛋️✨"

animal, cat, cleaning, couch, hair, humor, humorously, i, judging, left, mess, pet, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

0

2 months ago

anything, comedy, humor, invention, misunderstanding, overhear, plot, plot twist, relationship, rom-com, should, twist, where
Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

0

3 months ago

27, 30, age, aging, birthday, ever, humor, just, life, old, only, turn, younger, youth
Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

0

2 months ago

critique, dessert, food, food critique, humor, i, odd, odd people, people, preference, review, sweet, too
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

0

2 months ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

0

2 months ago

accident, bathroom, crime, embarrassing, humor, joke, pants, public, public urination, restroom, silly, urination
Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

0

2 months ago

board, board games, competition, family, fun, game, game night, games, humor, i, lose, night, only, playful, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

65 shares on Threads this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Just shared via TikTok:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Just shared via Telegram:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Seen just now on Discord:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨