Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,995

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Trending via Pinterest:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Trending via Messenger:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll save my greatest love for karaoke night! 🎤😂

always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

1 month ago

authentication, birth, birth control, condom, control, humor, joke, protection, relationship, safety, two-factor, two-factor authentication
Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

1 month ago

alien, aliens, baseline, explain, explanation, humor, language, misunderstanding, practicing, pronunciation, same, sound, Vaseline
If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

1 month ago

every, fix, forgetfulness, hell, humor, man, months, need, patience, procrastination, promise, reliability, remind, repair, six
I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

1 month ago

done, finance, food, humor, i, irresponsibility, irresponsible, kids, parenting, sushi, thing, think
If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

1 month ago

deals, endorsement, humor, ID, insomnia, joke, sleep, sport
So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

2 months ago

$10, 000, disappointment, expectation, frustration, humor, looking, money, tired, wallet

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Going viral on TikTok:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Shared recently on Slack:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Breaking via Reddit:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Life begins when you can afford it.

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

The future is buffering.

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏