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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Shared recently on Threads:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Opting for light beers – the ultimate hydration experience! 💦 Who needs a gym membership when you can do bathroom sprints all day? 🏃‍♂️😂 Stay hydrated, folks!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Just shared via YouTube:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Just landed via Discord:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Going viral on Telegram:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

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