Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't join you tonight! My wallet just performed a disappearing act and I'm having a cozy date with my couch and Netflix. Priorities, you know? 🤑🏡 #HomebodyForLife"

ask, bills, financial, getting, home, introvert, just, me, money, paid, responsibility, self-care, stay, stay in, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

2 months ago

humor, i, just, keep, mouth, mystery, personality, shut, unfortunately, wish
When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

3 months ago

call, cat, Catthew, full, full name, humor, i, name, pet, trouble
“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

2 months ago

babe, humor, least, life, path, psychopath, relationship, sort, witty
Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

2 months ago

almost, effort, give, goals, going, humor, motivation, procrastination, self-deprecation, today
I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

2 months ago

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want
Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

12 hours ago

bedroom, bone, card, child, credit, credit card, decorated, decoration, flirt, humor, looks, messy, messy room, room, sorry, still, want

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

49 shares on X this month:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Making waves on Instagram:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Just shared via Discord:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Spotted on X:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Spotted on Discord:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨