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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Breaking via Twitch:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Spotted on Facebook:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Live now on X:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Going viral on YouTube:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking DIY to a whole new level of efficiency 😂✂️💔

bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

0

2 months ago

back, cause, childhood, die, discipline, family, humor, i, kid, natural, natural cause, nostalgia, parents, sure, talking, talking back
Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

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2 months ago

confusion, finding, Friday, humor, nothing, surprise, time, Tuesday, waking, waking up, week
Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

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2 months ago

dating, drink, driver, driving, flirt, girl, humor, humor quote, joke, me, ride, sarcasm, Uber
Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

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2 months ago

creek, feet, forgot, humor, less, life, lot, nature, outdoors, phone, relaxation, sucks, truck, unplugged
It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

0

2 months ago

bird, creativity, flirting, humor, nature, relationship, sex, someone, song
If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

0

2 months ago

ever, humor, i, joke, me, missing, poster, promise, put, self-image, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

97 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Spotted on Discord:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Just shared via Threads:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Making waves on TikTok:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Just landed via Instagram:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨