Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

excuse, fantasy, gap, help, Hobbits, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, Mordor, resume, ring, something, take, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

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2 months ago

answer, before, clever, confusion, huh, humor, humorous, i, mindset, question, quick, quick response, repeat, response, sarcasm, say, sometimes, wit
I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

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2 months ago

expectations, food, humor, i, individuality, me, never, person, self-acceptance, serving, serving size, size, suggestion, wants
As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

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5 months ago

again, alive, begin, humor, i, life, perseverance, repetition
Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

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5 months ago

bored, boredom, communication, getting, humor, just, luggage, message, suitcase, text, travel
“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

0

2 months ago

alert, anticipation, humor, interaction, me, past, sneak, unexpected
Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

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2 months ago

across, computer, dream, fever, fever dream, flying, humor, i, just, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, screens, toaster, wing, wings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on TikTok this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

48 shares on YouTube this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Live now on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Threads:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Spotted on Twitch:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨