Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.