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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Just shared via Telegram:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Just landed via Threads:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Seen just now on X:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Seen just now on Discord:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Making waves on Telegram:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

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Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?
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Commentary:
"When your priorities are hot pizza over hot scenes! 🍕😅 #PlotTwist"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

77 shares on X this month:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

92 shares on X this month:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Just shared via Discord:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Shared recently on Discord:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Breaking via Twitch:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Going viral on YouTube:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

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