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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Breaking via Reddit:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Spotted on Discord:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Just shared via WeChat:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Trending via Pinterest:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about changing perspective on life's surprises, humorously contrasting youthful optimism with cynicism.

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Commentary:
"Lol, I'm officially fluent in Sarcasm Level 99! 🎓🤦‍♂️😂"

bad, change, cynicism, evolution, Funny, good, hope, humor, humor change, humor evolution, i, irony, least, me, naivety, perspective, self-awareness, something, whatever, young

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via Instagram:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Going viral on Threads:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Trending via Twitch:

My parents think they know me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Live now on Telegram:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

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Activity Log ✨

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨