Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Seen just now on Slack:

These aliens are taking forever.

Making waves on TikTok:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Just shared via Instagram:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When all you want is a chicken dinner and they think you're plotting an ocean heist! 🍗⛵😂

after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

0

2 months ago

humor, last, last minute, management, minute, motivation, only, procrastination, something, time, time management, urgency, wait
Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

0

2 months ago

gentle, hands, humor, joke, last, pickpocket, relationship, status
Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

0

2 months ago

attraction, good, good person, hot, humor, i, irony, people, person, wish, women
Imagine being social on social media.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, humor, imagine, interaction, irony, media, online, online interaction, social, social media
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

0

4 months ago

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while
Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, back, bad, communication, creativity, excuse, head, humor, imagination, making, me, please, start, stuff, text, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

73 shares on Slack this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Making waves on TikTok:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Seen just now on Slack:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Freshly posted on Slack:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Imagine being social on social media.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨