Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Live now on Instagram:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Just landed via Messenger:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Trending via Discord:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

1 month ago

Playful quote about motivation, highlighting the humorous desire to return to bed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The eternal battle: bed versus world. Bed wins every time! 🛌😂

able, back, bed, getting, humor, i, knowing, laziness, morning, motivation, sleep

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

87 shares on X this month:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Just shared via WeChat:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Going bananas on Threads:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Making waves on Telegram:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Live now on WhatsApp:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Going viral on Twitch:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Live now on WeChat:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Spotted on Messenger:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨