Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Going viral on Messenger:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Spotted on Threads:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Just shared via Slack:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Breaking via YouTube:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rise and shine, only to recline! 😴☀️

able, back, bed, getting, getting up, knowing, morning, motivation, relaxation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t study, get slutty!

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

0

2 months ago

around, authority, bladder, boss, control, humor, independence, me
If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

0

2 months ago

buy, emotions, food, moment, proud, sad, self-control, snack, snacks, temptation
Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

0

2 months ago

coined, humor, repetition, term, wordplay
I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

0

2 months ago

achievement, asking, butterfly, growth, humor, humor about growth, i, impatience, next, transformation
Source??? Pattern recognition.

0

3 months ago

analysis, data, data analysis, humor, logic, pattern, pattern recognition, questioning, recognition, science, skepticism, source

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

25 shares on X this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

77 shares on WeChat this month:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Spotted on YouTube:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Making waves on Threads:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Making waves on Facebook:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Going viral on YouTube:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t study, get slutty!

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨