Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Going viral on X:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Shared recently on Discord:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Just shared via Facebook:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Live now on X:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Seen just now on Threads:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like my goal of 'just a little light redecorating'—ended up painting the whole town! 🎨🖌️😅"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

47 shares on YouTube this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

94 shares on X this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Going bananas on Threads:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Just landed via Slack:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Freshly posted on X:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Just landed via WeChat:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

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