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Pirate: walks the plank. Someoneโ€™s dad: Is this teak?

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Sorry, boss, I canโ€™t come in to work today, Iโ€™m gonna be playing outside.

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Even at my most powerful, Iโ€™m still a little sleepy.

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Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

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You are the Monday of my life.

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Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

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So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

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My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Invisible Parent Act'โ€”an enduring performance worthy of a standing ovation… from no one. ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ™ˆ #ParentingComedy"



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