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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Spotted on TikTok:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞

call, circle, humor, i, know, loneliness, phone, phone call, rings, scammer, small, small circle, social, social circle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

1 month ago
be yourself, doing, everyone, honesty, humor, i, interaction, love, people, personality, say, scaring, social, social interaction, yourself
Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

1 month ago
accountability, blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop
I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

4 months ago
avoid, avoidance, camera, club, depends, humor, i, life, nightlife
No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

2 months ago
ambition, bare, bare minimum, desire, even, exaggeration, humor, i, maybe, minimum, moon, planet, point, star, stars, want
Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

1 month ago
1, 2, exercise, fitness, gay, hour, hours, humor, joke, just, straight, time, workout
Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

1 month ago
advice, date, each other, else, humor, relationship, sleep, someone

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Going viral on Twitch:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Trending via Facebook:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Just landed via Slack:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Just landed via X:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

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Activity Log ✨

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

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My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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