Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Going viral on Threads:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Just shared via Reddit:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Just landed via Reddit:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Breaking via Telegram:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Shared recently on Reddit:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞

call, circle, humor, i, know, loneliness, phone, phone call, rings, scammer, small, small circle, social, social circle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

0

3 weeks ago

back, busy, busy schedule, canceled, cancellation, circling, December, happening, humor, meeting, meetings, much, next, procrastination, schedule, too, where, why, work, year
Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

0

2 months ago

activity, app, apps, cafe, confused, dating, dating app, fun, fun activity, humor, looking, situation, social, social situation, time, walk, working
Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, humor, listen, Netflix, relationship, subtitle, watch, women
I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

0

2 months ago

forecast, humor, i, identify, identity, possibility, randomness, weather
Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

0

2 months ago

carpeting, change, destruction, grey, hearts, humor, light, light grey, minds, mud, mud season, season, seasonal, seasonal change, well, year
Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, begging, communication, hands, humor, knees, man, me, relationship, talk, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

99 shares on X this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

81 shares on X this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

42 shares on Discord this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

38 shares on Discord this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Trending via Facebook:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Making waves on Slack:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Spotted on Instagram:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Just shared via Messenger:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨