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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Going viral on WeChat:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

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Commentary:
Sounds like selective hearing is a marital superpower! 👂😅🔊

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

84 shares on Slack this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Making waves on Twitch:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Freshly posted on Discord:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Trending via Telegram:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Making waves on YouTube:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Going viral on WeChat:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Spotted on Slack:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

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