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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Just shared via WeChat:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Seen just now on Discord:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Spotted on Telegram:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Going viral on X:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like selective hearing is a marital superpower! 👂😅🔊

communication, conversation, conversations, even, habit, listening, me, relationship, saying, starting, weird, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

0

2 months ago

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, day, days, fatigue, humor, morning, needs, tired, today
As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

0

2 months ago

activity, ask, chores, dad, fun, fun activity, humor, leaf, mine, neighbor, next, parenting, raking, required
The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

0

2 months ago

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry
You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

0

2 months ago

allowed, body, body confidence, confidence, excuses, feeling, feeling sexy, humor, miss, miss work, self-care, sexy, should, work, workplace
It’s Monday, but at what cost?

0

2 months ago

cost, existential, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

34 shares on Telegram this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

67 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Threads:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Going viral on Reddit:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Going viral on WeChat:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨