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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Going viral on Facebook:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Trending via Threads:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Spotted on Pinterest:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why is retrieving my own money more awkward than accidentally waving back at someone who's not actually waving at me? 🤷‍♂️💸🙈

anxiety, ask, awkwardness, back, debt, embarrassment, finance, money, own, personal, personal finance, repayment, social, social anxiety, uncomfortable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

1 month ago
asleep, fall, humor, love, relationship, rest, sleep, why
The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

1 month ago
best, buying, family, fight, gifts, holiday, humor, relatif, sarcasm, start, time
My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

5 days ago
give, humor, i, just, kid, kids, M&M, marriage, me, room, secret, seeing, serious, snack, surprise, talk, thought, wanted, wife
I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

2 months ago
always, boundary, growth, humor, i, know, knowledge, limits, obedience, obey, personal, personal growth, self-awareness
Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

1 month ago
commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward
What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, dating, flirting, humor, moment, question, right, woman

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Going viral on Messenger:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Spotted on Discord:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

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No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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