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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Spotted on Facebook:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Spotted on Twitch:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Shared recently on Discord:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Trending via Twitch:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Trending via Slack:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Trending via Twitch:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why is retrieving my own money more awkward than accidentally waving back at someone who's not actually waving at me? 🤷‍♂️💸🙈

anxiety, ask, awkwardness, back, debt, embarrassment, finance, money, own, personal, personal finance, repayment, social, social anxiety, uncomfortable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

0

5 months ago

anyone, bed, bedtime, coffee, else, excited, excitement, going, just, know, me, morning
Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

0

2 months ago

abduction, adventure, aliens, being, escape, extraterrestrial, humor, i, just, need, relaxation, right, vacation
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

0

2 months ago

amazing, culture, fandom, future, humor, irony, mad, Mad Max, max, people, pop, pop culture, prospect, rave, same, sci-fi, star, Star Trek, Star Wars, sure, time, trek, wars
Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, flower, fun, fun activity, humor, internet, nature
My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

0

2 months ago

asked, day, eat, family, food, holiday, home, humor, i, joke, me, meal, mom, mother, relationship, sarcasm, taking, told, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

22 shares on X this month:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Making waves on Facebook:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Live now on TikTok:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨