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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Just landed via Instagram:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Just shared via Twitch:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Live now on YouTube:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still waiting for my wallet to catch that 'wealthy' bug! 💸😂 #InconvenientReality"

aspiration, being, financial, financial struggle, huge, humor, inconvenience, luxury, me, money, rich, sarcasm, struggle, wealth, wealth aspiration

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

0

2 months ago

belief, damage, done, engineer, humor, intelligence, intelligent, irony, society, software, software engineer
No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

1

2 weeks ago

asking, celebrity, ChatGPT, gallagher, humor, i, liam, Liam Gallagher, me, media, social, social media, thanks, Twitter
I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

0

2 months ago

antics, back, Christmas, elf, even, holiday, humor, i, list, mischievous, nice, nice list, talk, things, want
Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

0

2 months ago

certainty, death, face, grocery, grocery store, humor, magazine, Princess Diana, store, things
Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

0

2 months ago

creativity, due, financial, financial reasons, humor, i, joke, money, nature, photosynthesis, reasons, sustainability
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

0

2 months ago

always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Slack this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

70 shares on Messenger this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Trending via Discord:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Just landed via Discord:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨