Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Trending via Slack:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Just landed via Facebook:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Seen just now on X:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Breaking via Reddit:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just shared via WeChat:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about the humorous frustration of not being super rich.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still waiting for my wallet to catch that 'wealthy' bug! 💸😂 #InconvenientReality"

aspiration, being, financial, financial struggle, huge, humor, inconvenience, luxury, me, money, rich, sarcasm, struggle, wealth, wealth aspiration

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

3 weeks ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment
I dare you to try and be more single than me.

2 weeks ago

challenge, dare, dating, fun, humor, i, independence, me, relationship, single
Earth is hard.

1 week ago

challenge, difficulty, Earth, hard, humor, struggle
If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

2 weeks ago

burn, burn calorie, calorie, enough, exercise, head, humor, media, scroll, scrolling, shake, shake head, shaking, social, social media, too, Twitter
Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

2 weeks ago

complain, fingered, humor, irony, moan, relationship, size, why, women
No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

1 week ago

better, confrontation, fear, going, honesty, name, people, person, reputation, tell, terrified, trashing, truth

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Going viral on Snapchat:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Going viral on Reddit:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just landed via Facebook:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Spotted on Threads:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Earth is hard.

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨