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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Trending via Facebook:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Trending via Twitch:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Going viral on YouTube:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.
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Commentary:
Leveling up from virtual worlds to the dating world—pressing start soon! 🎮➡️💑

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

44 shares on X this month:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

90 shares on Threads this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Livin’ la vida vodka!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Shared recently on X:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Going viral on Snapchat:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Just shared via Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Seen just now on Slack:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Freshly posted on X:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Making waves on Instagram:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

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