Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Just shared via Slack:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Spotted on Facebook:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Making waves on TikTok:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"

anything, communication, confession, cop, humor, joke, opening, paranoia, police, sarcasm, say, social, talking, used, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

0

2 months ago

being, clues, crime, debugging, detective, humor, idiot, murderer, problem, problem-solving, programming, solving, tech, tech humor, where
Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

0

4 months ago

experience, humor, laptop, outdoors, outside, working
Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

0

2 months ago

after, bartender, comedy, conversation, drink, frustration, half, hour, humor, listening, me, over, problems, robot, technology
Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

0

2 months ago

advice, baseball, baseball cap, beauty, beauty product, cap, fashion, fashion statement, funny advice, humor, looking, looking young, money, money-saving, product, products, propeller, saving, secret, statement, stop, wasting, wear, young
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

0

3 months ago

clothes, hear, i, know, laundry, machine, needs, procrastination, reminder, still, washing, washing machine
His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

0

2 months ago

attraction, burn, compliment, inside, lit, me, metaphor, romance, sensuality, slow, slow-burn, smooth, voice, whiskey

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

11 shares on Slack this month:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Going bananas on X:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Making waves on Threads:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨