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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Live now on Telegram:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Making waves on Messenger:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Going viral on X:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When someone asks "Can I call you?" I'm here thinking, "Sure, but only if you want to experience exclusive hold music!" 📞🎶😂

ask, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, people, question, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sweet, sweetness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Happy new fear!

2 months ago
celebration, fear, happy, humor, new, new year, year
God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

1 month ago
divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

1 month ago
drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay
My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

1 month ago
activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying
Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

1 month ago
activity, coconut, creativity, drink, fun, fun activity, humor, i, lime, lyric, party, put, song, song lyric, tropical
“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

3 months ago
away, distance, enticing, escape, far, far away, galaxy, humor, sci-fi, sound, space, star, Star Wars, starting, wars

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Making waves on Reddit:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

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Activity Log ✨

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Happy new fear!

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

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People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Happy new fear!

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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