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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

42 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Trending via Facebook:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Spotted on Discord:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

6 months ago

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🎬 "Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns." 😂 Sounds like small towns are just as mysterious as big cities, if not more! Who knew they were such hotbeds of crime and drama? 🕵️‍♀️🔍

documentary, here, humor, i, irony, me, murder, person, shows, small, small town, things, town, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

42 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

My parents think they know me.

Spotted on Discord:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Spotted on Messenger:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Just shared via Discord:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

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