Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Going viral on Telegram:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Spotted on Twitch:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Making waves on Slack:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Seen just now on Slack:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Breaking via YouTube:

My recliner and I go way back.

Making waves on Slack:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just landed via Threads:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you peaked in crayon skills and downhill bike races… 🎨🚴‍♂️ #AdultingIsOverrated

6th, 6th grade, ask, back, grade, hobby, humor, i, interest, life, lost, me, please, sarcasm, teenage, teenage years, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

0

2 months ago

car, depressing, depression, disappointment, expectation, explode, humor, moment, start, work
The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

0

2 months ago

cold, cold water, humor, jump, late, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, patience, procrastination, timing, warmer, water
God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

0

2 months ago

annoying, God, humor, ID, me, personality, powerful, relationship, too, woman, women
Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

0

2 months ago

animals, God, humor, know, much, pets, secrets, talk, thank, thank God, too
They’re making me do work at work.

0

2 months ago

humor, job, making, me, responsibility, work
If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

0

2 months ago

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Freshly posted on X:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Just landed via YouTube:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

They’re making me do work at work.

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨