Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just landed via Discord:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Shared recently on Discord:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Going viral on WeChat:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Shared recently on X:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Shared recently on Threads:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Live now on YouTube:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

0
Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's hope your dance moves are worth the wait! 🕺💃😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

29 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

28 shares on Messenger this month:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

42 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Just shared via Threads:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Making waves on Instagram:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Just shared via Instagram:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Shared recently on Twitch:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴