Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Just shared via Messenger:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Shared recently on Discord:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Going bananas on Slack:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Going viral on Telegram:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Going viral on Slack:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Spotted on Reddit:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dodging small talk with style, one resting face at a time 😂😎🛑

avoidance, bitch, conversation, conversations, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, resting, resting bitch face, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

0

6 months ago

breakfast, clothes, clothing, cold, cold food, eating, food, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, ravioli, routine, still
I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

0

5 days ago

annoyance, call, communication, etiquette, i, miss, nostalgia, people, phone, phone call, public, speakerphone, talk
Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

0

3 months ago

anxiety, curiosity, explode, explosion, Google, googled, humor, just, mental, mental state, state, sun
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

0

2 months ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal
I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, forward, full, getting, hours, humor, looking, night, overthinking, procrastination, relaxation, sleep
Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

0

1 month ago

communication, depressing, finds, friendship, humor, letter, life, pal, pen, pen pal, prison, too, us, want, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

24 shares on Discord this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

27 shares on X this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

88 shares on X this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Breaking via TikTok:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Just shared via X:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Making waves on Instagram:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Just landed via Facebook:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Just landed via X:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨