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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

37 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Making waves on X:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Spotted on Discord:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Going viral on Slack:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Spotted on Discord:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Trending via Twitch:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

6 months ago

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤪📚 "Hmm, let's see… Ah, here it is! Page 47, Section 3.5: 'Thou shalt not unleash random weird noises that disturb thy cubicle neighbors.' Looks like you're officially busted! Better start practicing your silent mime routines instead! 😂"

cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

37 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Making waves on Facebook:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Trending via X:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Making waves on Telegram:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Making waves on Threads:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Spotted on X:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Spotted on Twitch:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

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