Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Live now on Instagram:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Just shared via TikTok:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Breaking via Threads:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The eternal struggle: wanting to wash your troubles away but realizing you might have to leave the house wearing a bedsheet! 😅👗🧺

clothes, daily, daily life, fresh, fresh start, heartbreak, humor, laundry, life, literally, never, realize, right, start, wash, washing, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

0

2 months ago

break, humor, i, irony, leisure, need, relaxation, time, time off, vacation, work, year
I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

0

2 months ago

baby, fear, humor, i, irony, know, parents, relationship, terrified, us, wonder
Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

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2 months ago

car, driving, even, every, hit, humor, i, just, passenger, reaction, scream, something, time
I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

0

4 months ago

annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology
Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

0

2 months ago

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed
I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

0

2 months ago

breakup, clothes, fire, gasoline, hit, humor, i, pile, relationship, sarcasm, tell, turbulence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

71 shares on Slack this month:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

79 shares on X this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Just landed via Snapchat:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Spotted on Facebook:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Trending via Twitch:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Trending via Reddit:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨