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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Shared recently on Threads:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Breaking via Reddit:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Trending via Twitch:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Trending via WeChat:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Going viral on WeChat:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Going viral on Reddit:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Live now on Snapchat:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"

attitude, even, humor, humor quote, i, me, option, perspective, sarcasm, someone, thinking, told, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

0

2 months ago

done, growth, humor, learn, magic, personal, personal growth, self-care, spells, time, transformation, witchcraft
Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

0

2 months ago

acquire, brainrot, deep, humor, intellectual, intellectual talk, only, personality, personality trait, skill, talk, trait
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

0

2 months ago

consider, exercise, fitness, humor, i, irony, jogger, running, smiling, time
Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

0

2 months ago

comfort, humor, i, know, meal, movie, outfit, preference, relatable, rewatch, routine, self-care
Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

0

2 months ago

assessment, humor, just, personality, personality test, results, self-discovery, test, uh oh
Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, drug, drugs, game, good, humor, jokes, just, name, naming, oh, prescription, prescription drug, pretty, random, randomness, Scrabble, sounds, sure, word, word game

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

15 shares on YouTube this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

25 shares on Discord this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

34 shares on X this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Live now on Pinterest:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on X:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Going viral on X:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Just shared via Slack:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨