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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,805

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just shared via YouTube:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on Threads:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Freshly posted on X:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Making waves on Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Just landed via Threads:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"

attitude, even, humor, humor quote, i, me, option, perspective, sarcasm, someone, thinking, told, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

1 month ago
breakfast, deep, deep fry, eat, exhaustion, fry, humor, last, last nerve, nerve, parenting, take, toddler
To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

1 month ago
animal, bed, both, breakfast, food, hay, horse, humor, play, play on words, pun, words
Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

1 month ago
ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

1 month ago
back, dark, dark humor, ever, humor, joke, life, life support, me, medical, medical humor, plug, resilience, sarcasm, support, unplug, works
Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

1 month ago
ages, awkward, awkward moment, communication, context, fail, humiliation, media, message, miscommunication, moment, nothing, odd, picture, send, social, social media, something, technology, technology fail, text, text message
This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

1 month ago
comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Going viral on TikTok:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Just shared via Twitch:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

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Activity Log ✨

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

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Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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