Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.