Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just shared via Reddit:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Going bananas on Facebook:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Trending via Snapchat:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Just shared via Telegram:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your weekend game plan is to become one with the couch 🍕😴🛋️

absolutely, chill, chill day, day, doing, doing nothing, eat, else, laziness, need, nothing, relaxation, rest, Saturday, sleep, sometimes, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

0

4 months ago

35mm, 35mm film, camera, candid, film, film camera, girl, girls, humor, only, photograph, photography, thing, want
In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

1

5 months ago

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone
I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

0

3 months ago

appreciate, bond, character, humor, i, interest, james, James Bond, joke, movie, movie character, myself, next, rejection, running, self-deprecating, spy, thank, understanding
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

0

1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

0

2 months ago

experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, humor, irony, nerve, retail, room, rooms, shopping
My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

0

4 months ago

always, conversation, DM, DMs, humor, media, open, sarcasm, self, social, social media, talk, want, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

75 shares on X this month:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

19 shares on Discord this month:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨