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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Just shared via Discord:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Trending via Messenger:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Going viral on Threads:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally found my life's calling: Professional Screen Tapper! 😜📱✨"

being, day, destiny, digital, digital life, humor, life, modern, modern life, phone, screen, screen time, sometimes, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

0

2 months ago

bad, experience, house, humor, i, last, movie, Netflix, night, own, walk, walk out
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, fear, funny situation, humor, i, kids, loud, neighbors, parenting, room, situation, yelling
So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

0

2 months ago

bag, bags, collection, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery bag, humor, inside, keep, life, observation, organization
Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

0

5 months ago

anatomy, arm, arms, average, biology, humor, leg, legs, ovary, person, speaking, statistically, statistics, testicle
All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

0

2 months ago

delay, electrician, expectation, humor, porn, saying, service, service delay, shows, time, unrealistic, us, waiting, waiting time
December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

0

2 months ago

December, everything, humor, January, month, office, problem, procrastination, where, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Discord this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

93 shares on Discord this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Just shared via WeChat:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Trending via Facebook:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Making waves on Reddit:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Spotted on TikTok:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Shared recently on Slack:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨