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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Live now on Threads:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Going viral on Reddit:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Seen just now on Slack:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Going viral on TikTok:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Just shared via Snapchat:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques"

addiction, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, interaction, iPhone, judge, judgment, myself, outdoor, outside, people, person, put, remind, self-reminder, social, social interaction, sometimes, technology, technology addiction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

0

2 months ago

activity, computer, dating, fine, humor, irony, relationship, technology
Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

0

3 months ago

answer, contemplation, frustration, humor, new, nothing, sarcasm, sky, staring
I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, life, money, still, think, thought, used, value
Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, everyone, humor, i, need, politics, satire, self-promotion, undecided, voter
My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

0

2 months ago

always, buy, dumb, family, humor, kids, likes, mom, only, parenting, say, smart, Snickers, sometimes, stuff
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

0

5 months ago

advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

89 shares on Discord this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

50 shares on X this month:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Going bananas on Threads:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Just landed via WeChat:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨