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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

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15,752

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17,765

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Updated

Jan 19, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Going bananas on Telegram:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Breaking via YouTube:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

2 months ago

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"Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques"

addiction, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, interaction, iPhone, judge, judgment, myself, outdoor, outside, people, person, put, remind, self-reminder, social, social interaction, sometimes, technology, technology addiction

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73 shares on Instagram this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

25 shares on Slack this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Trending via Reddit:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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