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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Spotted on TikTok:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Making waves on Telegram:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Spotted on Discord:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oops, my giggles were smoother than my pickup lines! 😂❤️"

apology, attempt, bad, dating, flirt, flirting, humor, humor attempt, i, interaction, joke, social, social interaction, sorry, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

1 month ago
awkwardness, disappearing, explanation, humor, me, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

3 months ago
bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why
Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

1 month ago
around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women
Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

1 month ago
crypto, daddy, dilemma, dumb, finance, going, good, honesty, honesty dilemma, humor, influencer, me, media, people, personal, personal struggle, scam, shy, shyness, social, social media, struggle, sugar, sugar daddy, too, work
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

1 month ago
church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner
It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

1 month ago
activity, catch, comedy, cream, event, flip, flip flops, flops, fun, funny event, humorous, humorous sports, ice, ice cream man, man, Olympics, playful, playful activity, running, should, sports, summer, summer fun, Summer Olympics

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Trending via Pinterest:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Breaking via Facebook:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

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Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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