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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,960

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Making waves on TikTok:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Making waves on Threads:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Just landed via Instagram:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Rules are rules, and my imaginary committee takes them VERY seriously! 🎩📜😂

actually, allowed, boundary, excuse, humor, i, just, love, myself, rule, rules, self-control, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

1 month ago
dog, dogs, exercise, humor, laziness, people, pet, picked, skateboard, teaching, training, vet, walk
I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

2 months ago
daily, daily life, disappointment, everyday, house, humor, i, life, mean, mirror, self-image, self-reflection
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

1 month ago
flirtation, food, humor, i, invitation, joke, midnight, midnight snack, night, over, snack
No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

1 month ago
drink, humor, know, peace, pun, relaxation, wine, wordplay
I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

1 month ago
catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

1 month ago
coat, disappointment, hate, humor, i, money, pull, stash, surprise, winter

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Live now on Twitch:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Just shared via WeChat:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Live now on Instagram:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

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Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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