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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Just landed via Twitch:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Trending via Threads:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Going viral on Twitch:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Making waves on Instagram:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Going viral on Slack:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!

around, carefree, ease, excuse, humor, humorous, humorous excuse, i, imagination, late, lateness, mind, relaxation, relief, sorry, stress, stress relief, travel, troubled, walk, wandering, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, loss, memory, password, passwords, protection, security, short, technology, term
I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

0

5 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, bumblebee, convinced, cute, cuteness, fluffiness, fluffy, humor, myself, persuasion, self, self persuasion, sting, too
I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

0

2 months ago

am, compromise, humor, i, integrity, offer, principle, sell, sell out, value
My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

0

3 weeks ago

family, future, future husband, humor, husband, i, joke, kid, kids, parent, parenting, parents, stay-at-home, stay-at-home parent, work
Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

0

3 months ago

alike, great, great mind, humor, irony, mind, minds, ones, stupid, stupid mind, think, think alike, unfortunately, wit
It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

0

2 months ago

competition, confidence, humor, i, playful, sarcasm, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

27 shares on Threads this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

85 shares on Slack this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

28 shares on Slack this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

54 shares on X this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Broadcasted on X:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Just shared via Snapchat:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just shared via Messenger:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Making waves on Threads:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Making waves on Messenger:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Live now on WeChat:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Spotted on Snapchat:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Spotted on Telegram:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨