Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

59 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Spotted on Twitch:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spotted on Facebook:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My love language is being sent money.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Going viral on Twitch:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Making waves on Messenger:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

6 months ago

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs party games when you've got conspiracy theories to unravel? 🕵️‍♂️✨ It's like Clue meets X-Files – your family won't know what hit them! Just don't let Uncle Bob start on his Area 51 rant… 🛸👽 #FamilyPartyGoals"

activity, brush, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, family, family party, fun, fun activity, humor, leisure, leisure time, party, relaxation, theory, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

59 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Just shared via X:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Going viral on WeChat:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Freshly posted on X:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Trending via Slack:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Shared recently on Slack:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴