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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,833

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we're all just "together-alone" now, like a virtual game of hide and seek where no one wants to be found! 🤦‍♂️📱 #ModernMagic

actually, alone, behavior, connection, ever, feel, human, human behavior, irony, isolation, loneliness, making, media, people, relationships, social, social media, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

1 month ago
activity, conflict, friendship, frolicking, fun, interaction, me, playful, violently
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

5 months ago
alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought
Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

1 month ago
after, algorithm, comparison, dad, enjoy, excess, family, fridge, humor, loving, oranges, Pinterest, seeing, whole
Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

1 month ago
always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why
I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

1 month ago
experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times
I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

1 month ago
favorite, frustration, hate, humor, i, live, lose, losing, pen, sarcasm, things, will to live, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Trending via Discord:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Spotted on Discord:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

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The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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