Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Just shared via Facebook:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Spotted on Threads:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Seen just now on X:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Never eat more than you can lift.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess the rest of the world thought, 'Brits survived rain and tea shortages; zombies are just a minor inconvenience!' 🇬🇧🧟‍♂️☕😂"

28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is an abusement park.

0

2 months ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

0

6 days ago

bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours
October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

0

2 months ago

autumn, beautiful, beauty, brief, horror, horrors, humor, know, month, months, October, season, situationship
Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

0

5 months ago

affection, apology, communication, dating, feelings, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, liked, much, relationship, sorry, too
When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

0

5 months ago

attraction, compliment, empathy, humor, intelligence, kindness, personality, personality traits, sexy, traits
“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beats, coworker, finance, humor, i, in-person, interaction, know, love, nothing, social, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

23 shares on Discord this month:

How is it still this week?

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Trending via Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Just shared via Instagram:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Trending via Slack:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Just shared via WeChat:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter is an abusement park.

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨