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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Going bananas on Threads:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Seen just now on X:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Spotted on YouTube:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Live now on X:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Just landed via Threads:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

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The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.
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Commentary:
"😂 Beware! My laugh isn't just contagious, it's a supervillain's giggle! 🦹‍♂️🤣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WeChat this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Trending via X:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Live now on X:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Just shared via X:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Making waves on Facebook:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Trending via Telegram:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

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