Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to postpone tomorrow like it's a dentist appointment 😅🕒🌙

bedtime, end, free, free time, humor, i, late, management, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

0

2 months ago

accordion, humor, instrument, joke, musical, musical instrument, sentence, survey, unnoticed, wordplay
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

0

2 months ago

crisis, empty, existential, existential crisis, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, joke, just, money, soul, struggle, wallet
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, getting, grocery, humor, joke, know, nostalgia, old, playlist, same, store
Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

0

3 months ago

commute, health, mental, mental health, money, paid, public, public transport, saved, saving, stress, time, transport, transportation, Uber, using
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

0

2 months ago

comparison, everyone, humor, i, lifestyle, media, pictures, posting, relaxation, shopping, social, social media, vacation
I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

0

2 months ago

boob, boobs, contact, eye, eye contact, glad, humor, i, interaction, last, making, me, need, people, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Just landed via Discord:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Spotted on Instagram:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Going viral on Discord:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨