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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Just shared via X:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Just landed via Discord:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Trending via Reddit:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Going viral on Facebook:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Making waves on Instagram:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

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The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the bumpers side with the pins against you… 🎳😅 #BowlingFails

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

17 shares on Reddit this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Spotted on Discord:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Spotted on Messenger:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Live now on Instagram:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

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