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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Making waves on Messenger:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Trending via Reddit:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Seen just now on Facebook:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Going viral on Messenger:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Going viral on Messenger:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Live now on X:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

15 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about fleeting TV shows seen only once at girls' houses.

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Commentary:
Sounds like those TV shows come with an exclusive membership to the 'Confusion Club'! 📺🤔🛑

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11 shares on Messenger this month:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Spotted on Reddit:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Trending via TikTok:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Trending via WeChat:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Making waves on Instagram:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

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Activity Log ✨

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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