Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Spotted on Twitch:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Trending via WeChat:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Seen just now on X:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂

athlete, athletes, competition, drug, drugs, hell, high, human, humans, humor, jump, Olympics, performance enhancing drug, performance-enhancing, satire, should, sports, take, want, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

0

2 months ago

9, coping, coping skill, date, dramatic, emotional, healthy, humor, just, me, minutes, November, November Rain, rain, relationship, self-awareness, skill, skills, someone, too
I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

0

2 days ago

childhood, ever, humor, i, kid, little, melancholy, nostalgia, self-awareness
Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

0

2 months ago

anyone, bored, boredom, emotional, emotional manipulation, emotionally, hell, humor, interaction, manipulate, manipulation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

0

2 months ago

dieting, fat, food, humor, ID, salad, sarcasm, taste, weight
I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

0

3 months ago

better, forebear, hate, hearth, holy, holy sun, humor, i, lamp, lighting, mimic, much, overhead, overhead lighting, should, sin, sun, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

21 shares on Discord this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

69 shares on Discord this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

78 shares on Discord this month:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Just landed via TikTok:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Trending via Reddit:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Just shared via Discord:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending via WeChat:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨